


Tony Stark's Afterlife Shenanigans

by QueenAnnaLightwood



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), Spider-Man: Far From Home, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Afterlife, Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Canon Compliant, Gen, I have a lots of feels after endgame and that mid credit scene in ffh, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Valhalla, clearly i don't know how to tag, more characters and relationships will be added as the story progress, mysterio will get his ass kicked, natasha romanov deserved better and here she will get it, tony stark deserved better so here I am with the fix it fic, writing this instead of dealing with the mess that my life is rn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-26
Updated: 2020-04-15
Packaged: 2020-07-20 03:50:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,812
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19985620
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenAnnaLightwood/pseuds/QueenAnnaLightwood
Summary: Endgame spoiler ahead.In Norse mythology, it is l that those who fight valiantly and die bravely are sent to Valhalla. When Tony snaps and dies afterward, Valkarie takes his soul to Valhalla.Tony is confused and a little bit nervous finding himself in a strange place, he is on the verge of a full-blown panic attack when he sees a familiar face and suddenly everything is not so overwhelming.I have never been good at summarizing, please give this a shot.





	1. Welcome to the Afterlife

**Author's Note:**

> All my knowledge of Norse mythology comes from books by Rick Riordan so the description of Valhalla and how it works is totally based on his Magnus Chase series. This fic does not contain any spoilers for the plot of Magnus Chase. Those who have not read Magnus Chase need not worry I have written it so that you won't miss out anything.

Tony slowly gained consciousness, the first thing that he felt was the strong wind rushing past him. He slowly opened his eyes and realized that he was flying through the white mist. He panicked and started flailing when someone tightened their hold on his arm. He looked up and saw a woman in full battle armor. She charged through the air on her flying horse (Pegasus?) pulling him along like a sack of potatoes. She seemed oddly familiar but he had no recollection of ever meeting her. 

She glared at him and to be honest Tony was a bit scared of her. "Do you want to fall into the void?" 

Many sarcastic comments raced through Tony's mind but he held them back, he didn't want to be dropped in the void because he managed to piss off this strange warrior woman. "No," he said at last.

"Then stop struggling," she ordered. 

It was hard not to struggle. He was no stranger to flying but he has always done so on his own terms, within the safety of his Iron-Man suits. Now a very irritated woman was dragging him trough endless mist with a threat of falling into the void. 

Tony still can't shake off the feeling that he had seen this woman before, no matter how hard he tried he can't seem to remember who she was and why was he dangling in mist with her. 

He didn't realize but he must have been staring at her because she again glared at him and said: "If you keep gawking at me I will punch you in the teeth."

"Hey lady, I am happily married with a wife and a daughter."

"Then quit staring," she hissed.

"Oh, I am sorry, did I made you uncomfortable? because I am having time of my life waking up to a strange woman dragging me through the endless mist like a sack of potatoes" Tony snapped he couldn't help himself. His memories were murky and he was trying really hard to figure out how he ended up in this situation. 

"Who are you? and where are you taking me?"

"I am a Valkyrie if you must know and as for where we are going, you will find out soon," she said. "Now if you ask me one more question for the rest of the flight I _will_ drop you."

Tony had no doubt that she would do it. 

After flying for what felt like an eternity to Tony, a lavish townhouse with a big courtyard appeared out of nowhere. Valkyrie unceremoniously dumped him in the courtyard. Tony got up grumbling and glared at her. 

She merely shrugged "Well, my work here is done. I have delivered you safely."

Tony had a lot to say about the safety of the trip and none of it was good. He settled for asking the most important question at the moment. "Where exactly is here?" 

Valkyrie just pointed to the double front doors of the eight stories of imposing white limestone and grey marble jutting into the winter sky. "Go in and find it for yourself. I have a lot more important stuff to deal with. Enjoy your afterlife" and with that, she flew away on her horse leaving Tony very angry and very confused. 

The word afterlife jogged his muddled brain and he remembered the attack at the compound, the dusted coming back and joining the fight against Thanos, the rush of affection and relief when he hugged Peter and realizing that it is not a dream that he was back for real. Then he remembered Dr. Strange pointing out that it was the one possible outcome and he understood what he would have to do. He remembered the surge of immense pain and power through his body and he remembers snapping his fingers. Everything after that is hazy, all he knows is that Peter was there, crying, and then Pepper was in his place telling him that he can rest now. He has not expected to survive the impact of using the stones but actually realizing that he is dead was still shocking. 

Eventually, the shock wore off and curiosity got the better of him. He turned around to look for an exit. There wasn't one, just a fifteen-foot-tall white limestone wall surrounding the courtyard. How could you not have a front gate? 

Tony couldn't see much over the wall, but he was obviously still in New York. He recognized some of the surrounding buildings. But how could this be possible? 

He was contemplating getting over the wall and hitchhiking a ride to the compound, dead or not when the double doors swung inward with a groan. A blurry man stepped out in the courtyard. He wore a doorman's uniform: top hat, white gloves and a dark green jacket with tails and the interlocking letters HV embroidered on the lapel, but there was no way this guy was an actual doorman. His warty face was smeared with ashes. His beard hadn't been trimmed in decades. His eyes were bloodshot and murderous, and a double-bladed axe hung at his side. His name tag read: HUNDING, SAXONY, VALUED TEAM MEMBER SINCE 749 C.E. 

Tony just has had enough bizarreness for one day and was ready to get out. "Sorry" he smiled apologetically at the doorman "I must... um, wrong house".

The man scowled. He shuffled closer and sniffed him. "Wrong house? I don't think so. You're checking in."

"What now?"

"You're dead, aren't you?" the man said. "Follow me. I'll show you to registration."


	2. Do You Want the Minibar Key?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Tony went in his world turned upside down, nothing made sense to him. He is desperately trying to keep his cool but failing miserably.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The description and how Valhalla works is based on Magnus Chase series by Rick Riordan. There are no spoilers for Magnus Chase in here.  
> Enjoy!!!

When a man with a double-bladed axe says you to follow him you don't say no, especially if you are weaponless. Tony followed him in, he was shocked to see that the place was much bigger on the inside. 

The foyer alone could've been the world's largest hunting lodge – a space twice as big as the mansion appeared on the outside. An acre of hardwood floor was covered with exotic animal skins: zebra, lion and a forty-foot-long reptile that he wouldn't want to have met when it was alive. Against the right wall, a fire crackled in a bedroom-size hearth. In front of it, a few guys in fluffy green bathrobes lounged on overstuffed leather couches.

Columns made from rough-hewn tree trunks held up the ceiling, which was lined with spears for rafters. Polished shields gleamed on the walls. Light seemed to radiate from everywhere – a warm golden glow that hurt his eyes like a summer afternoon after a dark theatre.

The doorman Hunding said something, but his head was ringing so badly he missed it. 

"Luggage," he repeated "Do you have any?"

"Um..." Tony looked around but well there was nothing. "No".

Hunding scowled "Nobody brings Luggage anymore. Don't they put anything on your funeral pyre"

"My what?"

"Never mind," he said and took him to the far corner of the room where there was a reception desk. 

The man behind the desk apparently goes to the same barber as Hunding. His beard was so big it had its own zip code. His hair looked like a buzzard that had exploded on a windshield. He was dressed in a forest-green pinstriped suit. His name tag read: HELGI, MANAGER, EAST GOTHLAND, VALUED TEAM MEMBER SINCE 749 C.E. 

"Welcome!" Helgi glanced up from his computer screen. "Checking in?"

"Uh –"

"You realize check-in time is three p.m.," he said. "If you die earlier in the day, I can't guarantee your room will be ready."

"I can just go back to being alive," Tony offered.

"No, no." He tapped on his keyboard. "Ah, here we are." He grinned, revealing exactly three teeth. "We've upgraded you to a suite."

Next to Tony, Hunding muttered under his breath, "Everyone is upgraded to a suite. All we have are suites."

"Hunding ..." warned the manager. "Sorry, sir."

Tony looked back and forth between them, checking their name tags. "You guys started working here the same year," he noted. "749 C.E, why don't you just use A.D.?" 

"Because Anno Domini, in the Year of Our Lord, is fine for Christians, but Thor gets a little upset. He still holds a grudge that Jesus never showed up for that duel he challenged him to."

"Say what now?"

"It's not important," Helgi said. "How many keys would you like? Is one sufficient?"

"I still don't get where I am. If you guys have been here since 749, that's over a thousand years."

"Don't remind me," Hunding grumbled.

"But that's impossible. And ... and you said I'm dead? I don't feel dead. I feel fine."

"Sir," Helgi said, "all this will be explained tonight at dinner. That's when new guests are formally welcomed." 

"Valhalla." The word surfaced from the depths of Tony's brain – when he has first learned about Thor he had done some research on Norse mythology. He knew Valhalla was one of the afterlives where the dead go. "The HV on your lapel. The V stands for Valhalla?"

Helgi's eyes made it clear Tony was straining his patience. "Yes, sir. The Hotel Valhalla. Congratulations. You've been chosen to join the hosts of Odin. I look forward to hearing about your brave exploits at dinner."

Tony's legs buckled. He leaned on the desk for support. He'd been trying to convince himself this was all a mistake – some elaborate theme hotel where he'd been mistaken for a guest. Now he wasn't so sure.

"Dead," he mumbled. "You mean I'm actually ... I'm actually –"

"Here is your room key." Helgi handed him an engraved stone key. "Would you like the minibar key?"

"Would I?"

"He wants the minibar key," Hunding answered for Tony. "You want the minibar key. It's going to be a long stay."

Tony's mouth tasted like copper. "How long?"

"Forever," Helgi said. "Hunding will now show you to your room. Enjoy your afterlife. Next!"

..........................................

Tony followed Hunding to his room. He felt as if he'd been spun around fifty times then released into the middle of a circus and told to have fun.

Each hall they walked through seemed bigger than the one before. Most of the hotel guests looked like they were in their twenties and thirties, though some looked like high school students and some were older like him. Guys and girls sat together in small groups, lounging in front of fireplaces, chatting in many different languages, eating snacks or playing board games like chess and Scrabble and something that involved real daggers and a blowtorch. Staff members in dark green shirts moved among the guests, bringing platters of food and pitchers of drink. 

Tony's stomach rumbled. "How can I be hungry if I am dead?" He asked. "None of these people look dead."

Hunding shrugged. "Well, there's dead and then there's dead. Think of Valhalla more like ... an upgrade. You're one of the einherjar now." He pronounced the word like in-HAIR-yar.

"Einherjar," Tony repeated. "Just rolls right off the tongue."

"Yeah. Singular: einherji ." He said it like in-HAIR-yee. "We're the chosen of Odin, soldiers in his eternal army. The word einherjar is usually translated as lone warriors, but that doesn't really capture the meaning. It's more like ... the once warriors – the warriors who fought bravely in the last life and will fight bravely again on the Day of Doom. Duck!"

"The Day of Doom Duck?"

"No, duck!"

Hunding pushed Tony down as a spear flew past. It impaled a guy sitting on the nearest sofa, killing him instantly. Drinks, dice and Monopoly money flew everywhere. The people he'd been playing with rose to their feet, looking mildly annoyed, and glared in the direction the spear had come from.

"I saw that, John Red Hand!" Hunding yelled. "The lounge is a No Impaling area!"

From the billiard room, somebody laughed and called back in ... Swedish? He didn't sound very remorseful.

"Anyway." Hunding resumed walking as if nothing had happened. "The elevators are right over here."

"Wait," Tony said. "That guy was just murdered with a spear. Aren't you going to do anything?"

"Oh, the wolves will clean up."

His pulse went into double time. "Wolves?"

Sure enough, while the other Monopoly players were sorting their pieces, a pair of grey wolves bounded into the lounge, grabbed the dead man by his legs and dragged him away, the spear still sticking out of his chest. The trail of blood evaporated instantly. The perforated sofa mended itself. 

"Aren't there any rules against killing?" Tony asked.

Hunding raised a bushy eyebrow. "That was just a bit of fun. The victim will be fine by dinner." He pulled Tony along. "Come on."

Before Tony could ask more about the 'bit of fun', another sword zoomed past him and he was pretty sure it was singing Taylor Swift's Blank Space in a very off-key voice. How did he know the song? well, curse Peter for it. N̶o̶,̶ ̶h̶e̶ ̶d̶i̶d̶ ̶n̶o̶t̶ ̶l̶i̶k̶e̶ ̶i̶t̶ ̶a̶t̶ ̶a̶l̶l̶. The sword did not impale anyone it just made its way down the hall and disappeared round a corner. 

"Was that sword SINGING?" Tony asked his brain shortcircuiting from the weirdness of it all.

"Yeah, that was Jack," Hunding explained. "He is harmless unless you are on a battlefield or if he sings to you. That sword can't sing at all, but don't say this to his face or blade or whatever. He is very touchy about the subject."

Okay, that's it. That was the last straw. He knew there was a Norse world coexisting with theirs, but seeing it in person still sent his mind reeling, and he still could not comprehend the fact that he was dead. He could feel the walls closing in. 

Just then the elevator arrived. Its door was made out of spears. Overlapping gold shields lined the walls. The control panel had so many buttons, it stretched from floor to ceiling. The highest number was 540. Tony paid attention to none of these, what caught his eyes was the person inside. The sheer shock of seeing a familiar face in this bizarre place brought him out of his panic. He blinked a few times to makes sure she was not just a figment of his imagination. She was still there, just as shocked to see him as he was on seeing her.

He tried to speak but his throat was closing up. For the past couple of days, they were so focused on bringing back the dusted and then fighting Thanos that he never had time to mourn and process her death. Now all the emotions were coursing through him all at once. He desperately wanted her to be real but was afraid that it was too much to hope for.

Finally, he took a tentative step forward "Nat, Nat is that you?."

She broke out in a sob and flung herself at him, almost knocking them both to the ground. She was real, she was Nat. Tony hugged her back fiercely. He could feel his shoulders relax. The place still freaked him out, he still has tons of unanswered questions but he could get through it all as long as he has a friend by his side. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please do tell me what you think of this fic so far in the comments.  
> Many of you may find this a bit slow but I had to get the description part out of the way. It will probably take up one more chapter before the story really takes off. Please be patient with me this is my first ever fic :)


	3. Can I have a Hall Pass?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony reconciles with Nat. They find out that there is a way they can go out of Vallahala.

Tony and Natasha reluctantly drew apart. Seeing each other in Valhalla was like finding a rock in turbulent waters.

"Did we do it?" Natasha's face was a mix of hope and concern, her voice heavy from trying not to cry. Tony has never seen her so open and vulnerable. She has always guarded her emotions, even around the team members. "We did it," he reassured her.

"At what cost?"

He smiled sadly at her "Just you and me."

Hunding grew impatient of their reunion and cleared his throat loudly. "Yes, yes, we are all happy to see each other, now move along. I have other stuff to do too. You will get me in trouble with Helgi for being late."

They all shuffled in the elevator. Tony inched a little closer to Natasha and took her hand. Usually Tony liked his personal space, but he was afraid that if he let her go, she would disappear. She smirked and raised an eyebrow but didn't let go of his hand.

"Scared, are you?" she teased.

"Me? Nah, I just thought you looked a bit pale," Tony tried to act nonchalant and received two eye rolls in answer.

They rode a few seconds in silence when Tony got curious again, "How can this place have five hundred and forty floors?" He said. "It would be the tallest building in the world."

"If it only existed in one world, yes. But it connects with all the Nine Worlds. You just came through the Midgard entrance. Most mortals do." Hunding explained. "Five hundred and forty floors have Valhalla; five hundred and forty doors leading out into the Nine Worlds."

"Oh yeah, say if I were to walk right back through the Midgard entrance what is stopping me from doing it?" Tony wondered if it was occasionally possible to go out and see his family.

Hunding scowled, "That is not happening. Not again."

"What do you mean again? I just got here."

Hunding jabbed an angry finger at Natasha, "She tried to escape yesterday. Almost succeeded in it too. It took all of the hotel guards and some einherjar to stop her."

Natasha glared at Hunding, and Tony was glad he wasn't at the receiving end of it. "I couldn't just sit here not knowing what happened to my friends."

"Now you know, try not to repeat what you did yesterday," he snapped. "No one leaves Valhalla unless you are on a quest or have the permission of Odin. If you do, you will be branded a traitor and get killed. This time for good."

"Well, that's reassuring. Last I checked Odin was dead. How are we supposed to get his permission if he is dead?"

"Since Odin is dead you will have to get a hall pass from either Thor or whoever rules Asgard." ****

"A hall pass? What is this, some high school?"

Hunding's face beneath his beard turned beetroot red, his eyes twitched dangerously, and his hand hovered over his axe. Natasha looked calm and relaxed, but Tony knew from experience she was ready to fight at a moments notice. He was relieved when the elevator's spear-cage door rolled open. He has had enough fights to last a lifetime.

Hunding took a few deep breaths to regain his composure. "You'll like floor twenty-five. Your friend here also lives on this floor." The vaulted ceiling of the corridor was twenty feet tall, lined with - you guessed it - more spears for rafters. Valhalla had apparently got a good deal at the Spear Wholesale Warehouse. Torches burned in iron sconces, but they didn't seem to make any smoke. They just cast warm orange light across the wall displays of swords, shields, and tapestries.

Set about fifty feet apart, each guest-room door was rough-hewn oak bound in iron. In the center of each door, a plate-size iron circle was inscribed with a name surrounded by a ring of Viking runes.

The first one read: X. A faint sound of television came from behind the closed door. The next read: Nikole. Behind that door, silence. The third door had Natasha's name on it.

Finally, they stopped at the door inscribed TONY STARK. "Go ahead," Hunding pointed at the stone key in his hand. "Each suite is unique. It models itself according to the guest's needs." Tony didn't want to try. He also didn't want to stay in the hallway until he got impaled by a random spear or become the target audience for Jack's singing. He put the key in the door, and the ring of runes glowed green. The door swung open.

Tony stepped inside. He moved to the middle of the suite, where a central atrium was open to the sky. His shoes sank into the thick green grass. Four large oak trees ringed the garden like pillars. The lower branches spread into the room across the ceiling, interweaving with the rafters. The taller branches grew up through the opening of the atrium, making a lacy canopy. Sunlight warmed his face. A pleasant breeze wafted through the room, bringing the smell of jasmine. "How?" Tony stared at Hunding. "Hundreds of floors are above us, but that's the open sky."

Hunding shrugged. "I don't know - magic. But this is your afterlife. You've earned some perks, eh?"

Tony turned around in a slow circle and noticed the rest of the suite for the first time. It was like somebody had taken his farmhouse and rearranged it around the atrium. The bedroom, kitchen and living room, bathroom with attached dressing room and a walk-in closet, everything was same down to the smallest details. There was even his lab tucked away in one corner.

His eyes went to the photographs on the living room mantle. There was one of his and Pepper on their wedding day with Rhodey as his best man. He remembered that day how Pepper had glowed as Happy walked her down the aisle. There was one taken in the hospital by Happy when Morgan was born. Pepper looked exhausted from the labor, but still, she was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen, she held their baby girl her one tiny hand wrapped around Tony's finger. Only a few minutes old and yet she meant the world to him. Then there was one of him and Peter holding the upside down stark internship plaque with goofy smiles and making bunny ears on each other. When he first went to recruit the kid for the fight against Cap, he had never imagined that this scrawny kid from Queens would become an integral part of his life. His love for Peter was the only thing that convinced him to help others figure out time travel. For once in his life, Tony had everything that he ever dreamt of, but there was a still a Peter shaped hole in his heart. He could not live with knowing that there was a chance, however slim, of bringing him back and not do anything about it.

Tony was so caught up in dealing with the fact that he was dead and was spending his afterlife in Valhalla that he never stopped to think about the impact his death would have on his family. He felt his knees buckle, only Natasha's grip on his arm kept him from sinking to the ground. She was saying something, but his ears were ringing so badly that he couldn't hear her. He tried to breathe, but there was no air.

Natasha quickly came in front of him and took one of his hands and put it on pulse point on her wrist. He could feel the steady rhythm of her heartbeat. Then she started breathing exaggeratedly and mentioned Tony to follow her. Tony tried and was eventually able to sync his breathing with hers.

Hunding patted him on the back "it's okay sir, happens to the best of us. You will get used to Valhalla soon enough."

"Please call me Tony."

"I will leave you to relax until dinner. If you have any questions, call the front desk. Been a pleasure serving you, sir, and welcome to the Hotel Valhalla."

Natasha went over to the fridge and dug through it, she came back with a chocolate bar and gave it Hunding "let us call it a truce."

Hunding looked on the verge of tears, he took the chocolate and held it like it was the most precious thing in the world. "yes yes, truce my good lady" he bowed to Nat and left the two of them in the atrium.

***************

Tony collapsed on the grass. He was exhausted, his day so far was extraordinarily bizarre and an emotional train wreck. Nat plopped down in the opposite direction by his side. "How are you doing?" she asked.

"Uh, dead, apparently."

"What happened to you?"

"Thanos happened"

Nat sat up and looked down on him, "How?"

He told her everything from the moment they realized she had sacrificed herself for soul stone to the moment he snapped and destroyed Thanos and his army. His voice cracked when he talked about meeting his dad, and when he described the moment the dusted came back and when he reached the end.

Nat was gazing up at the canopy, and Tony was pretty sure her eyes were glinting from unshed tears. They remained silent for a while. He had begun to nod off when Nat finally spoke "Howard Potts? Really?"

"Seriously? Out of all the possible things you are stuck on that?"

"Yeah, sometimes I wonder how your brain works."

Tony sat up, "Hey! in my defense, I didn't expect to see my father in the facility, and I think Howard Potts has a nice ring to it."

Nat scoffed and shoved him, "No, it doesn't."

"See, I know you agree with me, you just won't admit it."

She rolled her eyes at him "So cap can wield Mjolnir, huh."

"Yeah, son of a bitch was just pretending he couldn't lift it the other night."

Nat gave him a stern look "LANGUAGE," she said in her best imitation of Steve. They both stared at each other for a few seconds and then dissolved into hysterical laughter. Tony rolled on the floor with tears in his eyes; they both laughed until their stomach hurt.

"I can't remember the last time I laughed so much," Nat said. "Maybe afterlife won't be so bad after all, Valhalla is an interesting place."

"That's an understatement. What does your suite look like?"

"Mine is a lot like avenger tower's common floor. That is where I felt most at home."

Just then someone knocked on the door. Tony got up and opened the door, and a woman stepped in. She was the Valkyrie who had brought him here.

She looked around the suite "this is just like your farmhouse."

"I do not recall ever inviting you to my farmhouse; how do you know what it looks like?"

"I was just there for your funeral."

"My what now?"

She ignored him and glanced at Natasha, "I guess you are the brains in this room."

Nat smirked at Tony, "Yes, I am."

"Traitor!"

"I am Brunnhilde," she introduced herself, extending a hand towards Nat.

"Natasha," Nat replied, shaking her hand.

"Yeah, it's _nice_ to see you again." Tony was still a little miffed about their earlier encounter.

"Look like it or not, I am your Valkyrie. I am here to escort you both to dinner tonight and introduce you to other einherjar." She marcher over to Tony and poked him in the chest "Try not to act like a fool, okay. If you embarrass me, I'll be the first to kill you."

"I am already dead."

"You can still die in Valhalla. You will just get resurrected within a few hours. So don't tempt me."

"So the next time someone irritates me, I can just stab them, and they won't bother me for the next few hours?" Nat inquired.

Brunnhilde smiled at Nat, "Yes, you can."

"You two are terrifying." Both of them just smirked at him.

From the wall speakers, a horn blast sounded so loudly it rattled the pictures on the mantel. "What's that?" Tony asked. "An air raid?"

"Dinner. Come on now and stay close or you will get lost." She walked out of the room, Tony and Natasha followed her.

Brunnhilde ushered them into the elevator. She pushed away several other einherjar who were trying to get in. "Next car, guys." The spear-cage door slid shut. She inserted a key into an override slot on the panel. She pressed a red rune, and the elevator descended.

"Can I call you Hildy?" Tony asked. "I'm gonna call you Hildy."

"NO"

"So, Hildy-" before he can say anything else, a fist connected to his stomach. All the breath was knocked out of him, "I told you not to call me Hildy" Brunnhilde hissed.

"Forgive him, his sense of self-perseverance is non-existent," said Nat, patting Tony on the back while he wheezed.

"I can see that."

"So, you're a Valkyrie. You chose all the people in the hotel?" Nat asked.

"Not all of them, we have a sisterhood of Valkyries who are responsible for choosing the einherjar. Each warrior here died a valiant death. Each had a belief in honor or some connection to the Norse gods that made him or her eligible for Valhalla. Many einherjar are demigods. Many are regular mortals. You're chosen for Valhalla because of your courage and honor."

"But thor said that you were the last Valkyrie."

"I was for a long time. You are either born a Valkyrie or Odin makes you one if he deems you worthy enough. Before dying, Odin restored our ranks by making several female warriors into Valkyries. He just forgot to mention this before he died." Nat noticed the Valkyrie's voice turned bitter while talking about Odin.

The elevator door rolled open. They stepped into a room the size of a concert arena. "Welcome," Brunnhilde said, "to the Feast Hall of the Slain." Tiers of long tables like stadium seating curved downward from the nosebleed section. In the center of the room, instead of a basketball court, a tree rose taller than the Statue of Liberty. Its lowest branches were maybe a hundred feet up. Its canopy spread over the entire hall, scraping against the domed ceiling and sprouting through a massive opening at the top. Above, stars glittered in the night sky.

Tony tried to say something which would preferably not get him killed. "Why is there a goat in the tree?"

Below, on the dining-hall floor, a team of four stocky warriors carried a big golden bucket on poles set across their shoulders. They shuffled back and forth, trying to stay under the goat so they could catch the streams of milk. Judging by how soaked the warriors were, they missed a lot.

"The goat is Heidrun," Brunnhilde told them. "Her milk is brewed to make the mead of Valhalla. It's good stuff. You'll see."

"And the guys chasing her around?" Nat asked.

"Yeah, that's a thankless job." She turned to Tony, "Behave yourself, or you might get assigned to vat duty."

"Uh ... couldn't they just, I don't know, bring the goat down here?"

"She's a free-range goat. Her mead tastes better that way."

"Of course it does," Tony said.

"Let's get your seat before everyone else arrives." she then started to lead them through the rows of benches.

They headed towards what was the head table. As they were taking their seats (Nat sat between him and the Valkyrie which was totally fine with him.), a hundred doors burst open around the perimeter of the room. Einherjar poured in from every direction, pushing, joking, and laughing as they headed for their seats.

Shortly after everyone was seated, another horn blew from somewhere in the room, and the feast began. Hundreds of staff members roamed around the room, distributing food and drinks. It was a long day, and Tony have had nothing to eat so far. He dug in the moment food arrived.

Not being a huge fan of free-range goat's milk, Tony was reluctant to try the mead, but there was nothing else to drink, so he drained his glass in one go. Suddenly his senses were on fire. It was like an iced espresso. It woke him up, but with no edginess or racing heartbeat. "Wow, this is good stuff. Why does it taste like iced espresso, though?".

"This is paradise your food and drink will taste like whatever you want it to." Brunnhilde gave him a look that said he is an idiot.

Helgi rose from his seat from the staff table and began banging his cup on the table. All around the hall, the einherjar joined in until the Hall of the Slain thundered with a metal heartbeat. Helgi stood and raised his hand. The noise died down. "Warriors!" The manager's voice filled the hall. "Two new-fallen have joined us this week! and we also have crucial information for you, but first, let us hear about the heroics of our new einherjar."

Ten thousand warriors turned and looked expectantly in their direction. Brunnhilde stood up, she pointed at Nat and Tony and began their introduction. "This is Natalia Alianovna Romanova and Anthony Edward Stark. They have defended earth on multiple occasions. This time they saved the entire universe."

The warriors cheered and banged their mugs, drowning out the sound of Brunnhilde's voice, she had to wait until they calmed down.

"Thanos acquired all the infinity stones five years ago and wiped off half of the life in the universe. These two, along with their teams fought tooth and nail to stop him but were unable to stop him then. Later Thanos destroyed the infinity stones so no one can reverse what he did." She paused for a few seconds. Everyone in the hall was holding their breath, waiting for her to continue.

"Five years later, an opportunity presented to bring back the fallen. They figured it was possible to time travel and retrieve the stones from the past. The only problem, they couldn't quite get the time travel part right." Tony glanced around, and everyone was practically hanging on the edge of their seats. "They decided to go to Tony for help. He has retired to a farmhouse with his wife where they raised a family together. The avengers tried to convince him to help them; he refused. He didn't want to risk the safety of his family. He had already lost too much. He couldn't afford to lose anyone else."

Brunnhilde looked down at him. Her eyes were soft and understanding."He agreed to help later because like everyone else he also lost someone important and couldn't live with knowing that he could help in bringing him back." was Tony imagining it or was there genuine respect in her voice for him. "He figured out the time travel, and they all went back to different instances of time to bring back the stones. Natasha went with Clint Barton to retrieve soul stone. It is not easy to retrieve the soul stone; it requires a sacrifice - a soul for a soul. Natasha sacrificed herself so that Clint could have it. It was because of her sacrifice that the avengers were able to bring back those who got wiped off." Many einherjar looked in awe at Natasha. Few looked apprehensive of her.

"Unfortunately for them, Thanos of the past got wind of their plan and came back to stop them. Thanos in is own twisted way though that he was restoring the balance of the universe by killing half of its population. He realized that as long as the other half keeps surviving, there will always be those who remember and try to reverse what he did. So he decided to annihilate the entire universe and creating a new one where he would be God. Thanos attacked the avengers compound. There was a massive fight, and it looked like Thanos was going to win again until the fallen joined the fight." All around the feast hall, warriors cheered.

"Thanos somehow got hold of the infinity stones again, but before he can use it, Tony took the stones from him and used them to destroy Thanos and his army. He knew perfectly well that since he is just a mortal, he would not survive the impact of using the stones. But the safety of the universe and his family was more important to him. He could have done nothing, stayed home and enjoy the life he had created for himself and his family. But he didn't. Without both of them, the world as we know it would have ceased to exist."

There was a pin drop silence before everyone stood up and erupted in a loud round of applause. They started shouting Tony's and Natasha's name alternatively until it became a chant. After everyone settled down, Helgi cleared his throat and stood up "Now is the time for the important announcement. Thor has resigned as the king of Asgard and passed the throne to Brunnhilde."

There was another round of applause. Hunding set off the fireworks from the base of the tree, which probably wasn't the best thing to do. Almost all of the fireworks instead of going up went sideways and into the crowd. Within seconds the entire hall was in chaos. Fireworks flew everywhere, setting fire to tables and einherjar alike. Thousands upon thousands of mighty Vikings ran screaming for the exit pushing each other out of the way, and Jack the sword could be heard singing Katy Perry's firework from somewhere above in the tree. Tony, Nat, and Brunnhilde ducked under the table.

The Valkyrie sighed, "Just another typical Valhalla feast."

"Why didn't you tell us you were the new queen of Asgard?" Tony asked, accusingly.

"How is that relevant to you?" she asked, ducking sideways as a firework flew past her.

"Oh, I don't know I am a resident of Valhalla now, and I would like to know who is in charge? Besides, you are the one who can give us a hall pass."

"I can't just hand out hall pass. If you want it, then you have to earn it."

"Haven't we already done enough?" Nat asked wearily.

"Yes, I know. What you did when you were alive earned you a place in Valhalla. I am sorry, but if you want a hall pass, you have to prove your loyalty for Valhalla."

"And how do we do that?"

"Get a quest issued to you; let me tell you it is not easy. Go on the quest, fight for Valhalla, protect the nine worlds. Once you have done that, then you can have one reasonable wish fulfilled."

"Hey, señor," Tony jumped and hit his head on the tabletop, Nat was in a defensive position, and Brunnhilde was smiling. "Hey, Jack."

Jack had flown down from the tree and now was hovering mid-air by Tony's head. "Congratulation señorita on becoming the queen."

"Thank you, what are you doing here?"

"I heard you talking about going on a quest. So I came to offer my help to them." Jack pointed at Tony and Natasha with his tip.

"Uh, no offense, but don't you have an owner who may need you?" Nat was skeptical about accepting help from a talking sword.

"Hey! I am my own sword señorita. I chose my own wielder." Nat raised an eyebrow at him. "Actually, he is currently on vacation, and I am bored."

"Looks like Hunding is out of fireworks." Tony pointed out.

They tentatively got out from under the table. There were still stray fires burning here and there. Most of the einherjar were out of the hall, and Hunding was nowhere to be seen. They made their way towards the elevator. Jack tagged along with them.

"Hey señor, I can be of great help on a quest, and I can entertain you when you are bored. I can sing old Norse song, I can cover your favorite musicians, and on special request, I sometimes sing my own songs."

"Do not cover any of my favorites artists," Tony said as he got into the elevator.

"Are you doubting my singing abilities señor? I can give a demonstration if you want."

"His favorite song is Iron Man by Black Sabbath. You can join the team if you sing it." Tony glared murderously at Nat. She just shrugged and gave him a look that said 'What are you gonna do about it?'.

"Oh-oh, I can sing that" Jack did a few flips in the air in excitement, almost impaling Tony in the process. He began singing the guitar intro. Needless to say, it was very off-key. It was the longest elevator ride of Tony's life (afterlife). He vowed to get back to Nat for this. Tony rushed out of the elevator as soon as the spear cage door rolled open.

"Hey, señor where are you going?" Jack followed him. "Did you like it? I am part of the team now."

"Yeah sure," Tony fumbled for his room key.

"You would really like my rendition of Stairway to heaven."

"OH MY GOD, NATASHA!!!!!!!!" Both girls watched with amused expressions as Tony unsuccessfully tried to get rid of Jack as he entered his room.

A raven flew past Nat and landed on the Valkyrie's shoulder. It dropped a tiny scroll in her hand and took off again. "As much as I am enjoying this, it's time for me to go. Let me know if you find a quest. Until then, goodbye." 

"Thank you for bringing us here."

"It is a great honor to be the one to bring you guys in. No one has sacrificed as much as Tony and you for the universe." She gave Nat a brief hug. "I have to go now. Send a raven when you need to contact me." With that, she walked away, leaving Natasha in the hallway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys are enjoying the fic so far. Let me know what you think of it.


	4. Want To Go On a Quest? Here Is Your Token.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony goes to Helgi to talk about the quest while Nat is suspicious of their neighbor.

Tony woke up to the sound of the airhorn. He sat bolt upright and looked around frantically, heart racing a mile a minute. He tried to remember where he was. His surroundings looked strange yet familiar to him. What was an atrium doing in the middle of his farmhouse? He tried to rub the sleep from his eyes. He had the strangest dream about Vikings and Valhalla. The sound of someone knocking at the door finally registered to his ears. 

"Tony, I swear if you don't answer right now, I will find a way to blow open this magical door." It was Natasha, and she sounded murderous. Tony scrambled to his feet and rushed to open the door to his suite. He did not doubt that Nat will find a way to blow up his door if she had to. She had done so previously when Tony had locked himself in his lab and refused to talk to anybody after a mission gone wrong, and he felt responsible. But how can she be here? Did Bruce manage to bring her back after all?

When he finally opened the door, he was greeted with the sight of Nat glaring at him. Beyond her, a few Vikings mingled in the corridor, trying and failing to hide their obvious interest in the newcomers. Tony felt weak in his knees, so all the deal with Valhall was not a dream; he was really dead. Can he ever get used to it?

"Tony, are you alright? You look a bit pale," Tony snapped back his attention to Natasha, she was looking at him with concern. 

"Yeah," he cleared his throat "Just getting used to being dead and all this." he waved his hands in the direction of the Vikings in the background. They thought he was saying hi to them and waved back enthusiastically. 

Nat gave a half-amused smile "Looks like we have got a little fan base already," one of the Vikings looked like he was dying to come over and ask for their autograph.

"This is too early to deal with without coffee," Tony said wearily.

"Come, let's grab something to eat before they stop serving breakfast, and after that, we can start working on a plan to get that hall pass." she started dragging him towards the elevators, and Tony barely managed to close his suite doors behind him. 

Tony pushed open the spear cage door of the elevator when it arrived. Just as he was shutting it again, a slender figure slipped in and joined them in the elevator. Tony looked at the new arrival. She was a couple of inches taller than him (no, he was not selfconscious about his height at all). Her flowing dark hair and emerald gown were in stark contrast with her pale skin. She cast a sidelong glance at them and asked, "Feast hall?."

"Yes," Nat confirmed.

They rode in silence. The strange lady was perfectly content in ignoring them, while Natasha was scrutinizing her from head to toe. Tony tried to pull Nat into the opposite corner of the elevator.

"What are you doing?" he whispered. His voice had taken the exasperated parental tone that he used when his kids did something stupid. 

"What do you mean?" Nat shot back angrily.

"What's that whit all the staring business?" he tried to subtly nod towards the other woman who gave no sign of hearing them whisper to each other.

"There is something familiar about her," Nat went back to her scrutiny "I just can't put my finger on what it is." 

Tony looked at the lady as she exited the elevator when it reached the feast hall. He had long since learned not to doubt Nat's instincts, and now that he looked closely, there was something vaguely familiar about her. Something about her eyes..... the glint of mischief and danger in them reminded him of-

There was a loud clatter. Tony turned to look at what caused it. A table was turned over near the end of one of the rows, and two Vikings were rolling on the floor, trying to land punches at one another. Everyone in the hall abandoned their food and gathered around the fighting Vikings, egging them on. "That's the last time you stole my bagel Toke," roared one of them and hit the other on the temple with such a force that he dropped senseless to the floor.

With the fight being concluded, the onlookers began to disperse, and wolves came in to take away the fallen warrior. Tony looked on in horror and amazement. "I thought the feast hall was a no killing zone" he turned to Nat, who was scanning the crowd for something or rather someone. In all the chaos of the fight, the woman from the elevator had slipped away unnoticed. 

"There is no such thing as a no-kill zone in Valhalla honey," said a deep voice. Tony nearly jumped out of his skin. He turned to see a buff man in full battle armor towering over him. He grinned down at Tony and winked, "Though, you will be perfectly safe in my arms."

"Wha-..I-I-I, uh- I-" Nat looked on highly entertained by the sputtering Tony. It was nearly impossible to render Tony speechless. He always likes to have the last word. But even now, the women from the elevator nagged at her mind. The moment she had stepped into the elevator, every nerve in her body went in defensive mode, sensing danger. In her brief stay at Valhalla, she hadn't felt like this around anyone else. Even though the place was crawling with people who would kill over a piece of bagel, she had spent her entire life honing her skills and instincts, and when they say something is wrong, she listened.

"I am married," Tony finally managed to get out. The man looked a bit disappointed, but then he smiled and turned to Nat.

“Not interested,” she said flatly even before he had a chance to get out a single word. He nodded, “Well, if any of you change your mind I live on floor 156, the name is Bard.” With that, he left winking at Tony.

Tony was looking at the man incredulously, his mouth hanging open. “Cat got your tongue?” Nat snickered.

“NOT ENOUGH COFFEE YET,” Tony hissed, going red around the ears and stormed off to the nearest empty table. He poured himself the goat milk and began drinking glaring at the table. Today the milk tasted like black coffee, no sugar, no cream, just the way he wanted it. Nat slid in beside him and loaded a plate with eggs and bacon and then added some to Tony’s plate, who mumbled a sulky thanks.

“So,” Nat asked when Tony was pouring his second cup of coffee (milk), “have you thought of anything? How do we get the hall pass?”

“We need a quest,” Tony answered, “and according to Hunding, Helgi is in charge of issuing the quests, so my first plan is to talk to Helgi and ask him to send on a quest.”

“And if it doesn't work, then?” Nat inquired because nothing is that easy for them, not even in Valhalla.

“Well,” Tony returned, looking in the distance thoughtfully, “then we improvise. I haven’t thought that far yet, or you know I can always annoy Helgi so much that he would send us on a quest just to get rid of me. The guy is very easy to annoy,” he grinned.

“Sounds like a plan, I have faith in your annoying abilities.”  
“Hey! I mean, I know but not fair,” He complained.

“You said it yourself,” Nat shrugged unapologetically. “When are you planning to ask him?”

“As soon as I am done with breakfast. You coming?” He asked.

Nat shook her head “You go ahead. I have other things to do.”

“You are going to investigate that elevator lady, aren’t you,” Tony guessed.

“Yes,” she agreed, putting down her fork and getting ready to get up. “I will meet you back at your room.” she patted Tony on the shoulder on her way out, “Try not to get in any trouble.”

“I don’t go looking for trouble. I am a responsible adult.” He grumbled.

Soon after Natasha’s departure, Tony finished his breakfast and went down to the reception area in search of Helgi. When he neared the reception, sounds of argument floated up the hallway.

“It has been FIVE YEARS Helgi, FIVE YEARS. I won’t wait anymore.” It a woman’s voice, and she sounded furious.

“But it is the rules ma’am I can’t break them,” came the terse response.

“I don’t care about your rules.” She hissed.

“You know what happens to those who break the rules,” Helgi warned.

There was a loud thump as if someone banged their fists against the desk

“Do you know who I am? I can smite you this instant.” Tony rounded the corner and saw the lady from the elevator waving a threatening finger at Helgi.

“I am very well aware of who you are,” Helgi replied calmly.

“Then you will-” she broke off, sensing Tony’s presence and glared at him. She took a deep breath “ We shall continue this later,” she said sweetly to Helgi as if she wasn’t just going to rip his head off a few seconds ago and stormed past Tony. He was sure he heard her mutter “Puny mortal” as she passed him. He was wondering what all that was about when Helgi cleared his throat to draw his attention was.

“Good morning, Mr. Anthony Stark. How may I help you today?”

“Call me Tony, and uh, I was told you are in charge of issuing the quest around here,” He gestured to his surroundings.

Helgi sighed, “Yes, I am, and I take it, you want to get assigned to a quest,” he asked.

“Yeah, that’s it.”

Helgi sighed again and muttered something under his breath. He then tapped a few keys on his computer and handed Tony a bronze coin. “Here, wait for your turn.”

Tony turned the coin over in his palm. It was smooth on one side, and the other side had Viking ruins carved around the edges with number 789 engraved in the middle. “And…..what is this supposed to mean?” he asked, confused.  
“This is,” Helgi replied impatiently as if addressing a child, “your waiting number when 788 Vikings ahead of you have received their quest. Then it will be your turn.”

“What? I can’t wait that long.” Tony argued.

“If you don’t want to wait, then convince some to swap places with you or join them on their quest,” He suggested. “Either way, I can’t help you any further in the matter.”

“But-”

“Now, if you will excuse me, I have to check if Hunding is doing his duties properly,” Helgi said, getting out from behind his desk. “He tends to set things on fire, as you saw last night.” He saluted tony and began to walk towards one of the hallways.

Tony followed him, “At least tell me who is next in line for the quest.”

Helgi made a distasteful face, “That would be Nikole, the one who was at the desk before you. Now I must take your leave, have a nice day.”

Tony absentmindedly wandered back to the elevator, figuring out what to do next. He got in pressing the button to his floor. Could the scary lady Nikole be fighting with Helgi over the quest? In that case, she won’t be swapping places with them. Their other option was to convince her to let them in on her mission. That won't be easy, he guessed. The elevator came to a halt, and the door opened. A wave of scorching heat hit Tony like he was standing too close to a furnace. He looked out and saw pillars of burning fire outside the door, and there was a creature the looked like a rhino on fire running straight towards him. Tony’s heart skipped to his throat, and he frantically pushed the close button of the lift, but it appeared to be stuck. Tony cursed and tried to push the doors close himself. He managed to close them just as the creature collided with the doors with a loud thud, shaking the little box and left a horn-shaped indent in it. It took several minutes for his heart to come back to its regular rhythm, and if Tony might have screamed and nearly peed himself, no one needs to know that. He looked towards the button panel and realized he must have pressed the wrong one in his preoccupation. Tony carefully pushed the right one this time cursing, Valhalla and himself. He rushed out as soon as the lift reached his floor, resolving to take stairs from now on.

Tony went to his room and started pacing in the atrium. He was still jittery from the incident in the lift, and Nat was not back yet. Finally, he decided to check out his lab and tinker the stress away. He went over and opened the door to his lab, gingerly. Like the rest of the suite, it precisely the same as the one he had back at the farmhouse, small but efficient. .All his projects small or otherwise were there, including a little red bike, which he was building for Morgan’s sixth birthday.

Tony went over to the bike and touched it, remembering all the time he spent on it carefully building each part. It was nothing compared to his other inventions. It was just a kids bike but one he took most pride in, and now he will never be able to finish it for Morgan to ride. He would never get to see her face lit up with pure joy as she saw it for the first time; he won't be there to teach her how to ride it, show her all the hidden features he installed for fun and safety.

No, Tony gathered his thoughts. He can’t think like this. One way another together with Nat, he will find a way to get back to his family. He will finish the bike and will give it to Morgan on her birthday. If this lab is the exact replica, then it must have FRIDAY integrated with it.

“Hey, Fri, you there?” he tested.

“Yes, boss,” came the soothing voice of his AI.

Tony sighed in relief, “Wake up, girl, we have work to do.”

“What are we working on boss?”

Tony sat down by the bike and patted it, “this little hot wheels here,” and began working on it. He lost track of time working. He was adding the finishing touches when he heard a knock on the door. He got up and admitted Nat in. She didn’t appear to be in a good mood.

“Found anything?” Tony inquired.

“Nothing,” Nat said, running a hand through her hair. “No one wanted to talk about her. They are terrified of her for some reason.” She started pacing, “Every time I tried to follow her, she would disappear around the corner as if she was a ghost.” She stopped walking and plopped down on the soft grass of the atrium. She looked up at him “What have you got?” she asked wearily.

Tony rubbed the back of his neck, “Well, turns out the miss mysterious is Nikole, and we may have to team up with her if we want to go on a quest ASAP or wait till 788 other Vikings have their turn.”

“What?”

Tony sat down beside Nat and explained everything that happened after she left, excluding the part where he almost got impaled by a fiery rhino.

“I don’t like the sound of that at all,” Nat finally announced. “I don’t know what it is yet, but I will find out, there is something wrong with Nikole.”

“Whatever it is, we can find out at dinner,” Tony said. “We will have to talk to her regarding the quest anyway. We can approach her at dinner and talk to her, and you can do your spying.”

Nat hummed in agreement. For a moment, they were content to sit in silence. Then Nat spanged up and mentioned Tony to do the same. Tony raised his brows at her.

“Come on,” she said impatiently, “I want to try out that death frisbee thing I saw yesterday.”

“Yeah, no, I am not coming to any death games with you,” Tony laughed.

“Don’t be a spoilsport. It is a two-person game. I need you,” she smiled down at him, “If you come willingly, I will go easy on you.”

“Is that a threat?”

“Yup”

“Alright, I am coming, but I can defeat you in death frisbee,” Tony said, getting up.

Nat scoffed. “I spent a lot of time around Cap. What do you think we did when we got bored?”

Tony laughed hysterically, “Are you telling you played frisbee with Cap’s giant plate?”

“Yup”

Tony continued to laugh as he opened the door, but he stopped abruptly when he saw someone was standing in front of him. Looking irritated and clearly waiting for a while for them to come out.

It was Nikole.

She glared at Tony and then at Nat “You two,” she gritted out. “Come with me if you want to have the slightest chance of going on the quest with me.”

Without waiting for an answer, she turned and started walking down the hallway. Tony looked at Nat. Her face was a blank mask. She looked back at him “I don’t like this, but we must go after her.”

They started following the receding figure of Nikole.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ******Hi! I am not dead after all, and this story is not abandoned. I am sorry, I know I know, its been ages but I have been working my ass off even in quarantine. But from now on I will try to maintain an update schedule and hope to follow it. ********


End file.
